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Saturday, April 17, 2010

It's not something I like to include as part of my vocabulary. It's something I had hoped to completely elude during my nursing school journey. I had seen so many people fail exams, and subsequently fail the classes and I did not ever want to be a part of that group. Unfortunately, I am a part of the group.

I have officially failed my first nursing exam. 11 exams down, 16 more to go. 10 passed, 1 failed. Sigh.

Passing is 73 or higher and I scored a measly 70. Wow. I'm not sure I even have words.

Now, the upside to all of this is that I am still passing my class. In fact, I only need a 65 on the final to pass and apparently, according to the teacher, the next test is supposed to be easier. She has said that the first and last exams people tend to do well on while the second test is supposed to be the zinger. A zinger it was.

Just about everyone had a drop in their grades; some more than others. I can count on two hands the number of people I talk to regularly that failed. I haven't even talked to everyone yet, either. Its going to be an interesting Monday.

I will admit that I am being hard on myself. I know that it's not the end of the world and that best of all, I am still passing. It could be worse. It could be a lot worse. But I know that I can do better and that is why I am so upset. I should have done better. I can think of 6 or 7 or 8 mistakes at least, that should have been correct answers. I don't like to make excuses, but I can't help but think that maybe this had something to do with not getting much sleep the night before. I had went to bed at almost 2am, then woke up at 5am because my poor Nate had a bad dream and then after getting back to sleep at 5:20am, I got out of bed at around 6:15am after hitting the snooze every 5 minutes since 5:45am. So essentially, I had about 3 hours of sleep. Not a good night's sleep the night before an exam. Heck, not a good night's sleep for anything. But like I said, I don't want to to try to make excuses. I made some stupid mistakes and I hope that I have learned enough from them to not repeat them again.

So here I am, dusting myself off and moving forward. I'm admittedly not the best student in the world, but it's gotten me this far. I am going to try my hardest to study as much as I can over the next 2 weeks. I am studying for a 95 on my final. That would earn me a B for the class. Is it possible to get a 95? Yes. Is it probable? No. But if I don't try for a 95, then I certainly won't get a 95. And at the very least, I will pass Peds.

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