Monday, June 7, 2010

I got an 82.

I don't know how I did it, but I did it. There definitely had to be some Divine intervention because when I walked out of that exam, I really felt like it didn't go well. AT ALL. I felt way better about the first exam, and ended up with an 82, so I was convinced that this didn't bode well. I thought that there was no way I had gotten anything higher than a 78 at the very most. But I got an 82. I was stunned.

From what I have heard so far, 83 seems to be the highest exam grade, and that was from a guy who got a 92 on the first exam. Other people who did really well on the first exam saw significant drops in their grades on this exam, and even people who didn't do well on the first exam saw them as well. I stayed the same. I just can't even believe it. This was a hard exam.

It's amazing how an 82 can seem mediocre one minute and make you feel like you're intelligent the next. That's just how I roll, I guess.

I had my first clinical last Thursday, and I have to say, it was very interesting. All we're supposed to do is walk around and talk to patients all day and attend group therapy meetings with them. We have learned a little bit about"how" we are supposed to talk to the patients, but to actually talk that way is another story. It's pretty hard trying to think ahead in your brain, figuring out what you should be saying next while you are trying to listen at the same time and not seem distracted. It's also hard to talk to people about "difficult" topics, such as suicide, which is what I had to talk with one of my patients about. I was on the more difficult unit. There are two. One with patients who are less aggressive and with mood disorders such as depression. The other unit is patients with psychosis (break with reality), which consists of mostly schizophrenic patients. We did have a bipolar person and a couple of depressed patients because the calmer unit was full. But I have to say the experience was very interesting, and very sad.

Its hard for me to deal with schizophrenia. After learning about the disease, I've learned that the onset of this disease is usually late adolescence to early adulthood; most commonly, college-aged students. Because this disease has NO cure, and a lot of the patients are not responsive to treatments, I find it hard to see these young people, with their whole lives ahead of them, succumb to a disease where they live their life outside of reality, engaging in constant, daily battles with their hallucinations and live like that for the rest of your's just hard for me. It makes me very sad.

But, the disease is very interesting, and I actually have a neighbor who lives in my building who has some type of schizophrenia. I like learning about it. I just don't like seeing it in real life.

Whoa. That got deep for a minute.

Anyway, Psych is going well so far. I am learning a lot and its very interesting, but I don't think this is the type of nursing I see myself doing. It seemed like all the nurses did all day was chart. While as my past rotations have shown me that a nurse is constantly charting, it seems like there was a lot more interaction with the patients. Now it's not like they don't ever interact with the patients, and it's not like there isn't anyone talking to the patients all day. There are techs walking around constantly talking to the patients and whatnot, but it just seems like the nurses do nothing but charting.

Well, that's all for today. Stay tuned. Clinical #2 coming up this Thursday. 2 weeks of school left and then it's summer break!! Woo hoo.
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