Words

cannot fully express my feelings right now. I sit here, on the eve of my nursing school candlelighting ceremony, pondering how exactly I arrived here at this point.

How did I get here? It seems like just yesterday I was beginning this journey. It seems like just yesterday I would just look at the nursing building as I drove to my anatomy class with feelings of “not being able to wait” until I could set foot into that building. That same building would later become my second home; a home I found myself never wanting to step foot in again. Oh, the irony.It seems like just yesterday was August 24, 2009, my very first day of nursing school. Instead I find myself on May 2, 2011, my very last day.

Bittersweet.

But here I am- at the end of this particular road. And while this chapter is over- the book, however, is still far from complete.

I remember during my first week or two of nursing school I felt as if there was no way in the world I’d make it past that week, and let alone finish the program. I was reading 50 pages a day and trying to manage lecture class, clinical and clinical assignments, pharmacology class, and my family and it just seemed nearly impossible to humanly do all that was expected of me. I cried, and I told Ray I just didn’t believe it was possible.

But I made it. Not only did I make it, I never even once failed a class or got off track. Yeah I’ve failed an exam or two, but I passed all my classes on the first try. Others were not so lucky, unfortunately, so it just astounds my brain that I survived. I'm one of 20 out of the 130ish original students who started with me in August 2009. Those are some crazy odds to be stacked against- a 15% chance to graduate, or at least graduate on time in May 2011 as planned. I would never even think to bet with those kinds of odds. And somehow, I did it.

I am amazed at all that I accomplished these last 21 months. I am amazed at how much I’ve grown; At how much I’ve learned; At how much there is still left to learn.

I know that I could have never made it without God guiding me and giving me the strength and wisdom I needed to get through. He gave me a great, supportive family to help me stay strong and take care of things when I couldn't. He provided me with a study group to help me focus on the days before exams where I needed to study and may not have done so on my own. He somehow provided this otherwise well known procrastinator with proper time management skills, or at least the bare minimum skills needed, to conquer all the reading/re-reading/studying/assignments that were required to be completed for my courses. The more I think of it, the more I realize I could not have done it without Him at all.Best of all, He provided me with a husband who not only believed in me, but encouraged me every step of the way and went the extra mile in helping with household duties.Amazing that husband of mine. J

I remember the feeling of being overwhelmed at the start of each course throughout the program. I would look at all that needed to be accomplished and learned and it would just blow my mind. I could never imagine how I would ever know all the info I'd be learning in that course, or how I would complete all of the assignments for that course, and yet somehow, I would do just that. Even at the beginning of this last class, I looked at my journal that would have to be 100% completed by the end of the semester and I dreaded it. It seemed like so much. But it's complete. And as always, I managed. And now I'm done. No more courses to be overwhelmed with. No more assignments to complete. I'm finished.

Bittersweet.

One thing is for sure, however. While nursing school ends, I will always be a nursing student. There will always be something new to learn, a new class to take, a new job take on. Nursing is a dynamic profession. And I am a nurse.

Almost.

As I conclude the blog for today, I'll leave you with some quotes that I had hoped would one day prove true. That day is today.

If we all did the things we are capable of, we would literally astound ourselves. -Thomas Edison

What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us- Ralph Waldo Emerson